


If At First You Don't Succeed

by Llaeyro



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Caught in the Act, Community: rs_kink, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:50:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llaeyro/pseuds/Llaeyro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With shared dorms, no experience and little knowledge of what they’re supposed to be doing, the idea of sex is rather daunting but then again, how much could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If At First You Don't Succeed

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta Nazgirl, you’re awesome <3 and thanks of course to the anonymous prompter at rs_kink Round 2, without whom this simply wouldn't exist.
> 
>  
> 
> [Read on LJ.](http://llaeyro.livejournal.com/3164.html)

Sirius writhed on his bed, panting and arching up into the body above him as he half-heartedly tried to free his hands from where his boyfriend had them pinned either side of his head. He wanted to touch. He wanted to run his hands down Remus’s sides, across his gorgeous bum, along his—

“Remus…” he muttered. The only reply was a breathy moan addressed directly to Sirius’s neck.

“Remus.” He tried again, as firmly as he could manage, given the situation.

“Hm?”

“You’re squashing my balls.”

“Oh!” Remus let go and lifted himself up onto all fours, grimacing apologetically as Sirius winced and adjusted himself. He leant down just enough to kiss Sirius softly on the lips. “Want me to kiss them better?” Sirius could only grin and Remus disappeared down the bed.

Sirius helpfully spread his legs and Remus settled between them, running his hands up and down Sirius’s thighs as he kissed, licked and sucked gently. Sirius hummed his appreciation, spreading his legs wider and canting his hips slightly in encouragement. He moaned as a hand wrapped tightly around his cock, slowly gliding up and down. Remus’s tongue was doing amazing things, but now he’d started to go a bit too—

“Not there!” Sirius scooted quickly away from Remus, sitting with his knees up to his chin. Remus was still kneeling at the foot of the bed, looking startled and rather hurt. Sirius instantly felt bad, he hadn’t meant to react like that it was just… too much. “Moony—“

“Sirius… I don’t want to hear it.” He threw his robe around himself and shifted over to the opening in the bed curtains. Sirius grabbed his wrist, then the other when he tried to twist out of his grip. Remus continued to pull against him until Sirius flipped him onto his back, hands pinned above his head. Sirius flicked his head to get the hair out of his face before leaning down to kiss Remus, but he turned his face to the side.

“Look at me, please.” After a brief moment, he did and Sirius continued. “I _do_ want you—“

“You keep saying that, but here you are pushing me away again. If you don’t want to—“

“I do want to!”

“If you don’t feel _ready_ to, then that’s fine. Just tell me, but I’m fed up of this. I don’t know what to do. Just tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Sirius sighed as he rolled off of Remus to sit beside him. “You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Then what is it?”

Sirius looked away, even if he did want to talk about it, he wouldn’t know where to start. In truth, he wasn’t even sure himself what the problem was. He felt his hand covered by another. 

“Sirius, I can’t make it right if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Sirius pulled away and turned to Remus as everything came out in a rush. “I don’t know, okay? I love you, I want to be with you, I dream about it, I pretend it’s you when I finger myself in the shower but when it really is you—I don’t know! I just freak out.”

Remus was quietly staring at him. Sirius couldn’t read his expression and it was making him nervous. He felt the need to keep talking, anything to stop Remus from slipping between the curtains. “It just, it feels _too_ good. What if I finish up too soon, or if it hurts, or we do it wrong or I can’t make you feel as good as—” The rest was lost as Remus stilled Sirius’s lips with his own. Remus’s hand snaked around the back of Sirius’s neck, pulling them closer. When Remus pulled away, it was only far enough so that they both came into focus, but his hand stayed tangled in Sirius’s hair. His other found Sirius’s hand on the bed and linked their fingers.

“I’m scared too.”

“Fuck off, Moony.” Sirius half-heartedly mumbled, turning his face away as he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. Remus smiled.

“I need to know that this is really what you want. That you’re ready.”

“I’m not a pansy. Don’t treat me like some girl who’s been saving herself for that kind, considerate bloke to come alone who won’t rush her into things.” Sirius frowned. Remus brought their foreheads together.

“I’d wait a millennia for you, Sirius, if you asked me to.”

“Self-controlled pillock,” Sirius said softly, with a smile. Remus chuckled.

“Practise makes perfect.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius writhed on Remus’s bed, moaning and moving against the finger pressed inside of him while his own fingers slid up and down Remus’s cock. Remus broke the kiss to reach for more lube.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Sirius gasped and tried to hide his wince as Remus added a second finger, before reaching up with his free hand to pull Remus’s lips back to his.

“You don’t—seem—entirely convinced.” Remus struggled to reply between Sirius’s insistent kisses. Sirius didn’t want him to stop, but if he voiced his doubts, at least he could say ‘I told you so’ later on.

“James is waiting, what if he comes looking for us?” Sirius pulled fruitlessly at Remus’s trousers, still bunched around his thighs.

“He won’t.” Remus smiled confidently, pushing aside Sirius’s already undone shirt and placing kisses along his collarbone, “Lily’s taking care of it.”

Sirius still felt uncomfortable that Evans had figured them out so soon, but right now he couldn’t care less. He knew James would follow her anywhere, there’s no way—

“Too much?” The concern in Remus’s voice and his slowed movements halted his train of thought. Sirius hadn’t noticed he’d been frowning. He straightened his brow and smiled crookedly up at Remus.

“Not enough.”

Remus grinned and shifted about, wriggling out of his trousers and pants before settling between Sirius’s legs. He rubbed his cock across Sirius’s hole as he leant over him awkwardly, looking straight into his eyes.

“Sirius, are you absolutely su—“

“Merlin’s sake Remus, yes! I want you _now_!”

Sirius’s eyes closed and he bit his lip as Remus lined himself up.

“James, NO!” Her urgent shout was too late as James burst through the door with Evans pulling at him.

“What the _fuck_?!” James shouted, over Evans’s barely audible apologies.

“Fucking hell James, at least have the decency to look away!” Sirius angrily pulled the curtains shut and the two started reluctantly hunting for their clothes.

“You knew about this?”

“I’m sorry, Remus, I tried to get him to leave but he knew I was hiding something.” She was tearful.

The curtains were wrenched open again to reveal a red and angry James Potter.

“For fuck’s sake, how about a little privacy? Haven’t you seen enough?” Sirius buttoned his jeans as he tried to remember where his top had been flung to.

“Privacy? This is my bloody room! _My bloody room_ that you two are doing, doing, whatever the hell it is you’re doing, I don’t even want to know.”

“Then stop bloody _looking_ you ponce!”

“Seriously, you’re laying there with your legs spread for _Moony_ and I’m the ponce?”

The smug look was too much; Sirius had to wipe it off his face. Remus had hold of his arms, pulling him back as Evans pushed James, still smirking, away from the bed. Sirius gave up. Evans was already upset enough, he didn’t want Remus blaming him for any further distress. Remus’s calm and reasonable voice broke through the tension.

“James, I know that our relationship—“

“ _Relationsh_ —OW!” As James scowled at Evans and rubbed his head, it was Sirius’s turn to smirk.

“We realise that this is going to take some getting used to and this is obviously not how we wanted you to find out but—“

“Look,” Sirius walked over to James, inwardly pleased to see him fight the urge to step backwards. “This isn’t some phase or just a bit of fun or whatever.” Sirius let his gaze dart to Evans, then Remus, who were both pretending not to be listening. He lowered his voice and stepped closer to James, who this time couldn’t help taking a step back. “He is everything to me, Potter. _No one_ will get in the way of that. Not even you.”

James looked briefly surprised but quickly masked it with a scowl. He backed towards the door.

“Fags.”

“James!” Evans exclaimed as she ran to the door as the sound of his rapid footsteps faded down the stairs. With another brief glance of apology, she too was gone.

Sirius slammed the door and kicked it. He stood there for a moment while the pain in his foot ebbed, not wanting Remus to notice. He jerked with surprise as Remus’s arms wrapped around his waist from behind and rested his head back onto Remus’s shoulder.

“He’s going to make life hell for us.” He grumbled into Remus’s neck.

“He just needs time, it’s a big adjustment in his thinking. Once we explain things properly…”

“I can’t see that going so well.” He felt Remus firmly kiss the side of his head.

“Practise makes perfect.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius writhed uncomfortably in the chair, avoiding looking over at Remus or up at their headmaster.

“Do the two of you know why you are here?”

“Yes, Headmaster,” they mumbled.

“Is there anything you wish to tell me?”

Sirius stayed quiet. Remus broke the silence. “No, Headmaster.”

“I see. I don’t like to delve into the private lives of my students, but I’m afraid that, given recent events, I have to ask. Are the two of you involved in a sexual relationship?”

Sirius was sure that both Dumbledore and Remus must be able to hear his heart thumping in his chest. The blood in his ears was pumping so loudly that he could barely hear anything else. This time, Remus didn’t speak.

“No, Headmaster.” As he looked defiantly up at Dumbledore, Sirius could see Remus’s head shoot up in alarm out of the corner of his eye.

“No?” Dumbledore’s eyes widened as he moved around the desk to lean back on it, directly in front of Sirius. He held the old man’s gaze.

“No, Headmaster.”

“Are you claiming that Professor McGonagall was mistaken? That you were not—engaged with each other in a disused classroom?”

“No, Headmaster.”

“So you admit that you were engaged in sexual activities in an inappropriate location, where any first year may have stumbled upon you, but you deny being in a sexual relationship?”

“Yes, Headmaster.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Black but I’m afraid that I don’t follow.”

Remus looked confused, and slightly scared. Sirius took a deep breath.

“To call what me and Remus have just a sexual relationship would be a lie, Sir.”

“Ah, so it is a romantic relationship that the two of you share.”

“If you like, Sir. I don’t go in for all that mushy stuff personally but I’ll admit to anything you want if you let Remus stay.”

“What? No! Sirius, you can’t—“

“Calm down gentlemen, I have no intention of expelling either one of you. However, we do have a dilemma. Professor McGonagall thinks it would be prudent, given the situation, that you two no longer share a dormitory.”

That’s it, his life was over.

“She feels that allowing you to share a sleeping space could cause unnecessary stress and psychological discomfort to those who also share the room. I disagree.”

“Sir?” Remus sounded as shocked as he felt.

“I can’t imagine that having Professor McGonagall intrude on an intimate moment is something that either of you will be able to forget in a hurry, no matter how vehemently you may wish it. I believe that will be punishment enough. As for the impact your relationship may have on other students, I believe Professor McGonagall is failing to take everything into account. Namely, the detrimental effect the attentions of the other students may have upon the two of you, should the nature of your relationship be widely known. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, Headmaster.”

He nodded and they took their cue to leave.

“Oh Mr Lupin, one more thing.” With a shaky breath, Remus turned and walked back to the headmaster. “I took the liberty of borrowing this book from the library for you. I thought you might find it useful.” Remus took it with thanks and turned again to leave. “And Mr Lupin.” Sirius couldn’t hear what was said, but when Remus returned to him, he wore a small smile.

“What’s the book?” He asked when they were back in the corridor. Remus handed it to him. It was a dusty beige book with yellowed pages, as most of the books in the library were. The title read ‘Concealment and Subterfuge’. Sirius’s brow furrowed, then his face lit up.

“No.” Remus quickly snatched the book back.

“But _Moony_!”

“No, Sirius!” Remus chuckled. “Dumbledore trusts me to use this book properly, he told me specifically to make sure you don’t use it to cause any mischief.”

“What are you talking about? Him giving us that book is _permission_ to get up to mischief!”

Remus sighed. “It’s so that we can be together without attracting attention, with charms and that.”

Sirius huffed. “A lot of good they did us yesterday.”

After a quick look up and down the corridor, Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss.

“Practise makes perfect.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius writhed against the wall, which was the only thing keeping him up. His hips canted forward, silently and patiently begging for more of Remus’s willing mouth.

“Are you—are you sure the door’s locked?”

Remus’s mouth left Sirius’s cock briefly, but he kept his hands where they were; one massaging his balls and the other squeezing his arse. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Sirius moaned as Remus’s mouth slid around his cock once more and Remus sucked firmly. He concentrated on keeping his hips still.

“And the charms, are they, all up?”

Suddenly, all contact was gone. Remus sat back on his heels and frowned up at him. “Do you want me to suck your cock or would you rather play twenty questions?”

Sirius ran his hand through his hair and sighed. Remus stood and wound his fingers into his hair.

“I’m just nervous, I’ll stop. Promise.”

“Don’t think, just feel.” Remus pressed himself against Sirius, an electric jolt of pleasure running through him as their cocks met. As Remus ravished his mouth, Sirius felt Remus’s knee nudging its way between his thighs. He opened up and soon Remus’s cock was brushing under his balls and nestling between his buttocks and it felt amazing. He wanted more, he _needed_ more—oh Merlin he sounded like a girl. 

He ground desperately against Remus until he pulled away with a gasp and dropped to his knees again. Sirius spread his legs in invitation and Remus reached for his wand. Remus’s mouth enveloped Sirius’s cock in mind-blowing tight warmth. Sirius felt a slick finger teased at his hole, sliding over and around it before slipping easily in. He moaned and rocked gently against Remus’s ministrations.

When Remus added another finger, Sirius experienced something he’d never felt before. Overwhelming pleasure coursed through him, he cried out as his hips bucked involuntarily forward and left Remus coughing.

“What the hell?” Remus quietly grumbled through his coughing.

“Sorry, y’alright?” he asked sheepishly. “I didn’t, I couldn’t… Something, something was _amazing_. It just caught me by surprise.”

“Bed, now.”

Sirius loved it when Remus ordered him about. Being the only person who could see this side of Remus; the confident, commanding, gods-damned sexy side, only added to the thrill. Sirius was on the bed, legs spread, in an instant.

Remus coated his fingers with more lube, this time hovering above Sirius, offering the occasional kiss, but mostly watching. Two fingers pushed inside him, twisting slightly with each slow thrust, searching until—

“Shit Moony, are you alright?” He leant over the side of the bed and helped Remus up off the floor, rubbing his shoulder.

“I’m not doing that again.”

“Nonono, it’s good, Remus, really it is.”

“Not for me it’s not!” He chuckled.

“Then let’s get on with it, shall we?” He pulled Remus towards him, wrapping his legs around Remus’s waist and pushing up against his cock. Remus moaned and fell atop him, kissing him soundly as he lined up his cock. Anticipation caused shivers through Sirius. This was it. Finally, they were going to have sex. Proper sex.

“Stop fucking teasing and get on with it, will you?”

“I’m trying,” retaliated Remus as his lubricated cock continued to slide across Sirius’s hole. “You need to, lift up, or something, I can’t get close enough.”

Sirius brought his feet up and lifted his bum. “Like this?”

“No, now your legs are in the way. Try putting your feet up on my shoulders.”

Sirius did and Remus’s strong hands lifted his arse up. He adjusted his legs to hang over Remus’s shoulders and used the leverage to take some of the weight.

“Erm, can you…?” With his hands holding Sirius’s arse in the air, he couldn’t guide himself in and it wasn’t exactly a convenient angle for Sirius right now.

“Urgh, put me down. Hang on.” Sirius padded over to his own bed and grabbed the pillows. Laying back down, he shoved them under his hips. “How about that?”

Remus grinned and leant in for a kiss, which took far too long in Sirius’s opinion. Sirius was close to protesting when he finally felt Remus’s cock push into him, but his elation was short lived; it hurt. It _really_ hurt. Was it supposed to hurt that much? Remus had stopped moving and somehow that was _worse_. Sirius just wanted the ground to swallow him up. He’d bit his lip, scratched Remus’s thighs and screamed like a bitch when he was supposed to be enjoying himself and now his face was going red with embarrassment and Remus was starting to slowly pull out.

“No!” Sirius muttered, as firmly as he could.

“It’s okay, you can’t—“

“Don’t.” He held Remus’s wrists tightly. “It’s alright now, just the first bit wasn’t.”

Remus rocked back ever so slightly and then slid all the way inside. Sirius groaned and the muscles in his thighs relaxed a bit. _That_ was how it was supposed to feel. There was still a painful burn but it was getting duller and when Remus moved the pain was long forgotten. At first, Remus’s movements were slow and shallow but Sirius’s hands pulling at his hips encouraged him to speed up. Remus was sweaty, panting and his hair was all over the place; he had never looked more irresistible. Sirius tried his best to push back onto Remus, desperate for more but the erratic movements dislodged the pillow beneath Sirius’s hips. Sirius fell onto the bed, Remus slipped out of him, tipped forward and head-butted Sirius before he could stop himself.

“Sorry,” grumbled Remus, apologetically kissing Sirius’s forehead, “it was going so well.”

“We’re not done yet. Switch places.”

Remus laid on his back and Sirius straddled him, leaning down for a brief kiss. Remus helped him get lined up and he slowly sunk down onto him. Sirius leant forward for balance as he bounced on his toes, rising up and down rapidly on Remus’s cock. Remus moaned beneath him and thrust up slightly to meet him each time; it was a beautiful sight. Remus grabbed Sirius’s cock and stroked in time with his thrusts. As the pace quickened, Sirius started to struggle. He was using muscles he didn’t even know he had and now his thighs were complaining.

“Moony, this is quite tough on the old leg muscles, we should probably try something else before another disaster strikes.”

“Do you wanna try the pillows again?” Remus didn’t look too convinced by the idea.

“Swap places.”

Remus did as he was told and knelt near the end of the bed. With a deep steadying breath, Sirius got on all fours; baring all. He felt exposed, vulnerable, but then Remus’s hands were on him, stroking, rubbing, squeezing.

“Gods, Sirius, you’re so gorgeous.”

“So get on with it then!” he growled impatiently as he pushed back against Remus.

Remus leant over him, hands running up and down his sides, lips brushing across his shoulders, cock against his arse. “Get on with what?”

“You know bloody well what.”

“Mhm… I want to hear you say it.”

Sirius was glad Remus was behind him, it made hiding his red cheeks so much easier.

“Kinky bastard.”

“You love it.” Remus chuckled as he bit lightly at Sirius’s shoulder.

“I’d really love it if you’d bloody get on with it.”

“Get on with what?”

“For fucks sake Remus, fuck me into the fucking mattress already!”

No sooner were the words out his mouth than Remus was inside him again, pounding harder and faster than ever. Sirius scrabbled for a grip, pushing back, trying to avoid collapsing. When Remus shifted and his cock hit that amazing spot inside him, Sirius yelled out and his arms turned to jelly, his head connecting with the wall.

“Shit!” he groaned, “no, don’t stop, don’t stop!” Sirius put his hands on the wall and, unable to match Remus’s passionate pace, he let Remus’s hands on his hips guide him. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, something was telling Sirius that he should stop moaning like a whore but Remus started groaning behind him and the thought was gone. Suddenly Remus’s hands were on his shoulders, pulling and Sirius relaxed back into Remus’s chest, his head lolling back onto Remus’s shoulder as he continued fucking him. Sirius was surrounded by incredible sensations; his back plastered with sweat to Remus’s chest, hot panting breaths in his ear, careless kisses on his neck, Remus’s cock inside him.

“Sirius…” Remus moaned into his ear as he started to lose rhythm, “Fuck…”

As soon as Remus’s hand wrapped around Sirius’s cock, Sirius cried out his release, riding the waves of pleasure as Remus chased his own orgasm. Pain cut through as Remus bit into his shoulder and moaned as he came buried inside Sirius—and it was perfect. Sirius didn’t want to move. Ever.

“Well, that wasn’t exactly what I imagined.” Remus broke the silence as they lay tangled together, catching their breath.

His arse hurt, his head hurt, his legs hurt and Sirius had never been happier. “It was incredible.”

“Apart from nearly choking me, throwing me on the floor, head-butting each other and you head-butting the wall…” He kissed Sirius’s shoulder and Sirius leant down for a proper kiss. “Yeah, it was incredible and anyway, practise makes perfect.” Remus had that no-good look in his eye. Sirius loved that look.

“And I can’t wait.”

_Fin_


End file.
